There is far more pressure when it's your calling than if it was just a job
I am grateful to have a job that I consider both vocation and ministry, to work for an agency that gives me opportunities to follow my calling. Yet, when you consider your livelihood to also be a calling, there is significant pressure to get it right, to do it perfectly, to remain as resilient and strong as humanly possible. Despite full acknowledgment of my humanity, flaws, and limitations, and despite attempts to redefine success and detach myself from outcomes, I often feel that I am failing when I am unable to immediately do all that I seek to do and all that I know I am called to do. I find that there is often a fundamental miss-fit between working within a system or organization and living out my life’s purpose. What do you do when the boss who signs your checks disagrees with and pushes against the Boss within, with the Truth your heart is screaming? What do you do when doing the most loving thing is prevented by indestructible red tape? How do you move forward when the very human life in front of you doesn’t fit neatly into a spreadsheet? How do you defend choices made as a result of an inner nudge rather than the evidence-based, research-aligned data the funder is looking for?
I have not yet discerned what to do with this lesson, but I am concluding the “on work” section here because I suspect that at least some of the pressure will be alleviated when I learn to fully live into and faithfully practice the prior six lessons. If I truly love what I do, know what I need, ask for what I want, get to know others, turn off, and redefine success, I will be able to better live into my calling and to more powerfully create change both within and outside of formal institutions. I look forward to opportunities to grow.